I really need to write a Bridezilla series, and I
may, but for today I am going to focus on “The Guest List.” The invitations are patiently awaiting the three month mark to hit the mailboxes, but with the save the dates already out the questions from guests are pouring in!
The guest list is the number one reason brides may go gray in the course of a 1-year engagement. If I’m not careful my hair may match the pewter heels my bridesmaids will be wearing down the aisle, and possibly the dance floor. If you recall a previous blog post, Kay didn’t last a block in heels during our Vegas trip last year, so we’ll see. I’ll be sure to keep you posted in the “post wedding blog.” Maybe I’ll get a poll started. Anyway, the reality is weddings are crazy expensive and you can’t invite everyone. The day after our engagement my mother was already hard at work talking prices with wedding venues. She quickly slashed her estimated 200-250 guest count down to 100-125. So now that we are elated 100 guests.... wait parents have a say too? Ok.... we are down to picking 20 friends Keith.
It’s really shocking how many people will come out of the
woodworks for a carving station and an open bar, I mean a wedding. The phone rings of people you haven’t
spoken to in YEARS and you are now being befriended on facebook by people you
don’t recognize. All the while you
are just trying to figure out how they got your number and if you should click
“accept or deny” rather than try to reconnect. I figure, if you were too busy the past 7 years to get to
know “us” please don’t expect to be busy celebrating with us on our wedding
day. Sorry. Not even on the C list! The worst is when people straight up ask you to your face if
they are invited to the wedding.
Yes this happens. Like I said,
you can’t invite everyone and therefore feelings will get hurt. Keith and I went with the philosophy of
inviting “our friends” not mine, not his, but our friends that have made an impact
on our lives as a couple in a positive way. There is no easy way to cut the list, but unless you have an endless money tree, it must happen. People understand that.
You will get asked right away (before you have had time to think about it) whether you are allowing children
or plus ones. Do we want to allow
children or “flavors of the week” aka the random cocktail waitress the
groomsman met the night before to fill the spot of other friends? Ok, a cocktail waitress makes for a
great story and children have the enact ability to get the party started on the
dance floor. Besides, you realize
you are like the last ones on the planet getting married, so majority of your
friends don’t fall into the “no ring no bring” category. You want all of your guests to have a
good time and you decide that by allowing the few that are not in a committed
relationship to bring a guest doesn’t exactly tilt the budget of “I’m
already completely broke from this wedding” scale. Ok, everyone should be happy,
right?
So you finalized that guest list. You have now decided who’s invited and who will never speak
to you again. This is straight up real;
don’t think it’s not! I’m not
going to talk about that though, those people aren’t talking to you so it
doesn’t matter. Your hair is
spared. It’s those few that made
it on the list that continue to bitch and complain about every detail until you
almost blow up and scream “DON’T FBOMBING COME!” That’s when the poor bride loses it and is coined a “Bridezilla.” Yes, we paid extra for a Saturday so
you don’t need to take a day off work.
No I am not going to reserve and pay for your hotel, but I have set
aside a wedding room block for a very reasonable rate. Info is on the wedding website. No I am not going to pick you up from
the airport, but you can take the blue shuttle van, which is cheaper than the
taxi I researched. Info is on the wedding website. Not sure where things are? Info is on the website. Yes I have arranged a limo to pick
you up at the wedding host hotel and take you to venue where you will be
treated to a platinum dinner buffet and an open bar. Info is on the website. If the loud music gives you a headache the “oh shit kits” reside
in the restrooms with complimentary earplugs and aspirin. I have also arranged for a mini coach
to take you back to the hotel at 9pm right after the cake cutting. The info is on the website. Yes the
cupcakes are gluten free. Do I
really need to put that on the website?! What is the website you say? It’s on the FBOMING magnetic save the date I sent you 3
months ago!!! AHHHHHHH!
Soooo unfortunately you will be forced to invite those
guests that make you feel like your entire wedding is a complete nuisance to
them. The only thing they are
worried about is what time the Sunday brunch ends so that they can book their return flight home. The saddest part is you have some awesome uninvited friends that you’d love and rather be spending your special day with. Ug:/
Can we all just agree that every bride should be allowed a little
“Bridezilla” after dealing with all the “Guestzillas?”
JenniferMarie aka Bridezilla
P.S. Thank you for returning your pre addressed and stamped
RSVP prior to the deadline.
Just A Little Wedding Humor |
And Another! |
I especially like the “ 'flavors of the week' aka the random cocktail waitress the groomsman met the night before" comment. We wouldn't know anything about that ;)
ReplyDeleteHahaha best wedding story ever! Headley wedding inspiration for my blog right there! I was totally waiting for your comment! Ha. Ps.. Way to kick ass at cadcade!
DeleteOMG!!!!! I didn't know she was this bad! Its your day and you deserve to have it stress free don't even worry about her anymore you did what you can! Now like you said its up to her to shape up!π
ReplyDeleteYep..... she is that bad! hahahaha. The only thing left to do is laugh it off in a blog post. Love you Kay!
DeleteThis is too funny! I am sure your wedding is going to be BEAUTIFUL! ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks Stacy!
DeleteToo funny! You hit everything right on the head! And people suck but you guys are awesome! Hopefully Keith gets to set a few fires...
ReplyDeleteHaHaHa!! Thanks so much Jenny! You could have warned me?!
DeleteHysterical! i would love to be able to post this to facebook for my daughter!
ReplyDeleteFeel free! I have the FB share button at the bottom of each blog entry:))!
Delete