The Amateur Porta Potty User (APPU)

Ahhh........ That is a sigh of pure relaxation.

My glories three-day weekend is coming to an end.  I spent all three days sleeping in, practicing metabolic calculations and riding.  I forgot how good it felt to ride a bike in shorts and a t-shirt.  I tucked a few of my favorite country stars in my kit pocket and just rode. The tranquility of my ride was enough to make my mind wander.  I would love to tell you about my thoughts, but instead I am going to tell you about the amateur porta potty user (APPU).   This by no means is coming out of nowhere.  I had the pleasure of watching several APPU come out of the restroom this weekend.  The 6.5 mile stretch of path I ride has about 4 restrooms along the way.  These restrooms are not necessarily porta potties, but very similar in that there is no plumbing, just made better with no portability.  Anyway, to the point if there is one. Sitting in front of a restroom is the best place to people watch.  As the APPU exits the restroom in a hurry with a look of disgust, you will notice them holding their arms away from their body, fiddling with buttons, zippers, pant legs, and scanning for the nearest water source.  A bike racer is not an APPU, rather an expert.  The sight of a porta potty doesn’t frighten us.  It is actually more of a godsend in many situations.  Those early morning wake up calls, long drives, caffeine and nerves can really get the best of you.  I myself am able to slide down my bib shorts while holding my top in my mouth, and proceed to hover over the hole while wearing cycling cleats on a slippery porta potty surface.  A cyclist cannot only contribute their nice legs to riding, but by using the porta potty hover as a common isometric exercise.  It’s those burning isometric contractions that warm us up and tone our butts.  Coming from a world of pageantry, the porta potty hover is one of my pre pageant preparation secrets.  ha.  I will worn you though, the cleanest porta potty is not always the best choice.  You run a higher risk of experiencing "splash back," just ask Keith.  Now I am not really sure where I was going with this.  I seem to have gotten side tracked.  O’ well, I need to get ready for the work week.

Happy Martin Luther King Day Everyone. 

Thanks for reading,

JenniferMarie

P.S. Here is a picture.  If you ask me though a triathlete can always pee in the water.  I mean, the swim is first.