The Horton Tsunami

My dear ex-housemate of 2 years was Mr. Chris Horton.  He is actually my longest standing housemate.  I am a little anal when it comes to a clean environment.  My coworkers and Keith constantly hear; “I can’t work in this clutter, what is this crap, do you really need this?”  Luckily Chris accepted the fact that I was crazy, and I accepted the fact that he was subpar, so it worked.  My REI co-workers had a nickname for his clutter, “Horton Crumbs.”  If you needed Chris, you just followed the crumb trail.   Haha.  In all honestly Mr. Horton was an awesome housemate.  He was always there to feed my kitties crunchies, pick me up when I forgot keys, or listen to me complain. 

Anyhow, the day of the Horton Tsunami Chris decided to do dishes and clean his car.  This was breaking news in itself, but it gets better.  Chris plugged up the sink, turned on the water and headed out to his car to grab a few (possibly months worth) of bottles and Tupperware that were acquiring that sweet green residue.  Now I was not actually present, but this is the Horton story reiterated.  Apparently he forgot about the sink and began cleaning his car.  After some time had past he walked into a flooded kitchen.  He took every blanket and towel in the house and tossed it on the floor in a failed attempt to soak up the water.  He then placed an uncanny amount of blankets in the washing machine, which resulted in the first aftershock, overflowing water and a broken washer.  By the time I came home I couldn’t tell if water was coming from the garage or the kitchen.  It was everywhere! 

Life after the Tsunami was difficult.  We had no towels to dry with, no blankets to sleep with, and no washer to clean with.  Two weeks after the incident, Keith got the washer up and running again.  We were able to clean up the disaster that was left following the Horton Tsunami, and all lived happily ever after.

In all seriousness, I wish those in Japan the best. 

Thank you for reading

JenniferMarie

The Votes Are In!

The majority voted and people want to hear about Brynne and Jen’s worst adventure ever.  We have had many crazy little adventures, but this one I am about to tell tops them all.  It’s even crazier then dating a pirate or a drug dealer, and by drug dealer I do not mean the pharmaceutical rep.  The boyfriend crazies are another story in itself.  In addition to the pirate, drug dealer and pharmaceutical rep, we have the gay (maybe 2), the nerd, the tattoo artist, the alcoholic, the psyco, the marine and hmmmm I can’t even remember.  It doesn’t matter though, that’s not today’s story.

When Brynne and I were 18/19 years old we started working at a small vet clinic in Citrus Heights.  This is a horrible story in itself and I hated/we hated that job more then anything else in the world.  I loved the animals, but our coworkers and our boss were from a different world.  I think I came home crying everyday because the job was so bad.  I remember my breaking point.  Brynne and I were mailing flyers when my boss came in being as obnoxious as ever.  I handed her an envelope and left.  She was shocked to say the least, and weeks later Brynne left too.  I do have to say that the drama in that place was pretty amusing.  I remember one woman was cheating on her husband, meeting people online and heading out to “meet” them on her lunch break.  It gets better, but I won’t share because that’s not today’s story either.

Anyhow....... We used to coordinate our lunches together and head out for an hour so that we could talk s&!t, pretty typical.  One day we stopped off at this little Mexican Restaurant.  The food was great, conversation great and then it was time to head out.  As we starting walking back to the car we noticed a man walking towards us with a sleeping bag in his hand.  We thought it was odd.  As he started walking faster, we began to scurry to the car.  We realized he was running after us.  We got in the car and my hands were shaking so bad I couldn’t get the key in the ignition.  I was screaming to Brynne, “What do I do?”  She yelled, “F*@King go!”  I got the key in the ignition and the bum jumped on the top of my hood.  I drove forward and his face just plastered on the windshield.  I am not sure how it happened, but I put the car in reverse and he flew off.  Off we went!  No more Mexican Restaurant.

That’s the story, short and sweet.  I think the reason why that was the worst ever, was just because I have never experienced my heart pump so hard in my life!

Just in case you don't know....... below is a stunning picture of my Brynne friend. haha O yes, and a surprised Ari friend.

Thanks for reading

JenniferMarie

The Amateur Porta Potty User (APPU)

Ahhh........ That is a sigh of pure relaxation.

My glories three-day weekend is coming to an end.  I spent all three days sleeping in, practicing metabolic calculations and riding.  I forgot how good it felt to ride a bike in shorts and a t-shirt.  I tucked a few of my favorite country stars in my kit pocket and just rode. The tranquility of my ride was enough to make my mind wander.  I would love to tell you about my thoughts, but instead I am going to tell you about the amateur porta potty user (APPU).   This by no means is coming out of nowhere.  I had the pleasure of watching several APPU come out of the restroom this weekend.  The 6.5 mile stretch of path I ride has about 4 restrooms along the way.  These restrooms are not necessarily porta potties, but very similar in that there is no plumbing, just made better with no portability.  Anyway, to the point if there is one. Sitting in front of a restroom is the best place to people watch.  As the APPU exits the restroom in a hurry with a look of disgust, you will notice them holding their arms away from their body, fiddling with buttons, zippers, pant legs, and scanning for the nearest water source.  A bike racer is not an APPU, rather an expert.  The sight of a porta potty doesn’t frighten us.  It is actually more of a godsend in many situations.  Those early morning wake up calls, long drives, caffeine and nerves can really get the best of you.  I myself am able to slide down my bib shorts while holding my top in my mouth, and proceed to hover over the hole while wearing cycling cleats on a slippery porta potty surface.  A cyclist cannot only contribute their nice legs to riding, but by using the porta potty hover as a common isometric exercise.  It’s those burning isometric contractions that warm us up and tone our butts.  Coming from a world of pageantry, the porta potty hover is one of my pre pageant preparation secrets.  ha.  I will worn you though, the cleanest porta potty is not always the best choice.  You run a higher risk of experiencing "splash back," just ask Keith.  Now I am not really sure where I was going with this.  I seem to have gotten side tracked.  O’ well, I need to get ready for the work week.

Happy Martin Luther King Day Everyone. 

Thanks for reading,

JenniferMarie

P.S. Here is a picture.  If you ask me though a triathlete can always pee in the water.  I mean, the swim is first.  

The Physique Rating

I am curious about this physique rating phenomenon.  Apparently a perfect score is a 9, and the lowest a 1. I find it to be a slap in the face that a 10 doesn’t even exist.  This has been brought to my attention after taking my two well-rounded cats to the kitty Dr. yesterday.  They both scored a 5.  I think the veterinarian was in a generous mood, lets be honest.  I am pretty sure 16 pound cats are considered overweight if not obese.  Moving on........... My bathroom scale has told me that I am an 8 for the past 3 years.  My question is this, what does a girl have to do to score a 9?  It’s impossible. Keith and I have tried and tried.  I will tell you the problem.  The problem is that the bathroom scale has been in society for far too long.  It has already adopted the philosophy of striving for the body you will never have.  It has set unreasonable expectations.  I bet that that stupid scale doesn’t even have the ability for a 9 to pop up on the screen. 

Let’s face it....... There is no such thing as perfect, only pretty close.  Vella and Mahoney couldn’t be happier and they are sitting on a 5.  I think I’ll take my 8 and toast into the New Year. 

Thanks for reading

~JenniferMarie

November in a Nutshell

My poor blog has been neglected lately.  Upon returning from Hawaii late Halloween night, I was up early for a drive to work.  With four hours of sleep and a week vacation behind me, who knew what the week in store? Luckily the weather was warm in the city.  Running along Ocean beach in the sunshine made the transition from Hawaii a little easier.  The Giants won the World Series that Monday. The energy in San Francisco was unbelievable.  I watched and cringed as the Giants played their final game.  When it was over I headed to the roof of my friends SF apartment watched fireworks, and listened cars honking and people screaming.  The San Bruno explosion had occurred my first week in the city.  I remember driving over the Bay Bridge and listening to the radio.  The energy in the city was subdued.  I had patients crying.  They had lost friends, and lost homes.  It was hard for me.  It felt like a close to home 9/11.  The Giants in the World Series was exactly what the city needed.  The residence had something to cheer about.

That same week I went house hunting.  I found myself disappointed and frustrated about what I was finding.  I had called Keith to let out my frustration.  He quickly sent me an address to a home in Millbrae.  I was in the area, and gave the number a call.  The owner of the home was actually there waiting for another prospect that hadn’t shown.  It was a sign!  I fell in love with the place and the area.  It was within our budget, had a garage, 2 bedrooms, a bike commute from work, near great riding, and in a quiet neighborhood close to shopping.  These were our criteria, which yes made it difficult to find a place.  Let the background checks begin!  Keith and I received our keys the day before Thanksgiving.  I had a lot to be thankful for this year; graduate school completion, new job, new home, Miss California Pageant, reconnecting with an old friend (Rita), making new friends, healthy kitties, and continuing love from Keith, friends, and family.  I am also thankful for Brian Hillier and Paul Zierke for helping us move in the rain the day after Thanksgiving.  Much appreciated.  Thank you for the Hillier family and Rita and Adam for allowing me to stay in your homes while Keith and I searched for a place.

Between the Giants and the move, I participated in the Miss California Pageant.  I met a lot of wonderful women, had a wonderful time, and learned a lot.  I hope my little sister Kayleen decides to compete in the future.  I think she would be wonderful.  It was nice to have my brother, parents, and boyfriend there to support me.  It was defiantly a wonderful opportunity.

That was November in a Nutshell.  We are now a little over a week into December.  It is full of Holiday parties and cheer.  Keith is getting settled into his new job, and the kitties have adjusted quite well.  I made my first payment to my school loan.  Here is to 10 years of paying it back!  Sweet.  Well, I guess barrowing was worth it.  I did nail a killer job.

Thanks for reading.

JenniferMarie

Carcassonne and Craters

Yesterday was day 5 in Maui.  I didn’t get a chance to blog about the day because Brian, Amy, Keith and I were playing Carcassonne late into the evening.  I figured I would just fill you in as I sip my morning cup of Kona coffee.

I would say that yesterday was a successful family day.  Brian and Keith decided to accompany me on my morning run.  Their speed was much faster then my typical beach jog, but I kept up. 

We all made the trip to the Haleakala Crater.  We didn’t see the sun set or rise, which is supposedly a breathtaking experience.  I am not sure if the Hillier family would ever be able to wake up at 3am to see such a sight, and we got there a little too early to just wait around for the sun to set.  I thought that the crater was breathtaking, even without a rising or setting sun.  Kathy (Keith’s mom) seemed to be a little disappointed about the craters size.  I guess she was expecting much bigger.  If you ask me it is quite large.  The next time I visit I would love to make it a day trip.  My dream would be to watch the sun rise and then hike down into the crater.  We were not sure the hike would be safe for the entire family, so we didn’t make that journey this trip.

On the way to the Haleakala Crater we made a stop at the Maui Agricultural Research Center (MARC) and the Kula Botanical Gardens.  The highlight of the MARC was that I got to peak into the Biochemistry Lab.  This isn’t allowed and is actually off limits, but I was “searching for the bathroom.”  At least that’s what I was going to say if someone said something.  I am a total science geek and it is unfair to tempt me with microscopes and staff only signs.  It only makes me want to “scope” the place out.  I wish the facility would have done a little tour of the lab or explained their research a bit.  I think that would have made the stop a little more enlightening, but it was free.  My 2^nd favorite part of the MARC was the Rose garden.  I found out that mine and Keith birthday (1984) flower was named “Intrigued.”  It was a pretty little purple rose.  No one else in the family had a birthday rose.  They didn’t go back that far.

The Kula Botanical Gardens was $10 per person, but well worth it.  There is NO senior discount, trust me, Kathy asked a few times.  However, there is a AAA discount of $8.50 per person.  The garden was beautiful and well kept with benches, lawns, trails, flowers, plants, mini waterfalls, streams, ponds, and animals.  It is a perfect venue for a small wedding.  The best part was cracking macadamia nuts and eating them.  Keith even ate off the tree this time.  I would highly recommend this for a family stop.  It is one that is fun for everyone.

We drove back to the condo and Kathryn made the family some delicious chicken tacos.  You know exactly how I ended my night, Carcassonne.

Thanks for reading (Mahalo!)

Jennifer Marie

Rewriting Maui Revealed

Today we drove the scenic windy road to Hana.  The first day I got sick on the plane and the second I got sick on the short drive to the Waihee Ridge Trail.  I was not going to be caught nauseas again.  I started the morning off with a single chewable Dramamine.  Yes a chewable.  I prefer the orange flavor of the chewable tablet over the soap taste of the non-chewable.  That soapy taste is enough to make me vomit, which is completely counterintuitive being that I am trying to prevent vomiting.  Besides, absorption starts in the mouth so the chewable tablets are likely to be more efficient nausea preventers anyway.  The problem was that I became extremely exhausted.  I could barely keep my eyes open for the drive. I actually remember dreaming about fire works and the Giants game.  I hear they won actually.  Anyway, when I purchased the Dramamine I noticed that there was a non-drowsy form, but I completely bypassed it.  I assumed that the non drowsy formula wouldn’t be as effective, like that of Nyquil.  I swear the orange non-drowsy formula doesn’t work like the real thing..... the green one.

Let me start off by saying that the trip was not my idea by any means.  Keith’s dad and sister were the ones who really wanted to go.  We told them that it was an all day trip and that it was probably going to rain.  In an attempt to avoid the “We always do what you guys want to do,” phrase we went.  My friends Mike and Kath actually recommended the trip, so I figured it would be worth a shot even if I am prone to motion sickness.  The plan was to leave at 7am and meet at the Kahanu Gardens.  Ray and Katherine were not ready to leave, so we left before them and headed off for the journey.  About an hour into the drive we received a text message from Katherine, “We are turning back.”  I guess they didn’t want to endure the rain.  I really have no idea, but we were already on the way so we pressed on. 

We made our first stop at Pua’a Ka’a.  According to the Maui Revealed book we were supposed to make a 5-10 min hike up a trail in order to find the perfect photo-op under a waterfall.  Needless to say we hiked for 2 hours in the pouring rain and deep mud and found no such waterfall.  The adventure was actually one that tested my comfort zone.  We crossed rushing water and narrow bridges.  We did find this old building, which looked like an excellent opportunity to seek shelter from the rain.  Inside was this old wheel.  Brian decided it would be a great idea to tell Keith to give it a little turn.  All of a sudden water came rushing down the bank.  It turns out that wheel opened a dam ahead.  We quickly closed the dam and continued on our way.  We ended up hiking around and found ourselves back at the main road about 200 yards from the car.  We were surrounded by numerous “keep out” and “no trespassing” signs.  OOPS.

Stop number two was the Kahanu Gardens.  Ahead was a sign that read “Road Closed.”  It had been raining so hard that the road was a little flooded and the garden was closed.  We crossed anyway.  Brian drove the car through the water and we walked around the closed garden.  It was nice because we didn’t have to pay the 10 dollar fee and we had the place to ourselves.  Amy and I found some really cool shells on the beach.  We really had to be careful around the coconut trees though.  Those things burrow in the ground when they fall from the trees and could potentially be quite dangerous if you are standing in the wrong place at the wrong time.  We actually attempted to crack one open.  It looks so much easier in the movies.  We were not successful.  We went to leave and were unable to cross the road.  In the hour that we had been touring the garden the road had completely flooded and there was no way we could drive through. We ended up finding an alternative route through private property and muddy roads.

Stop number 3 was the Black Sand Beaches and Caves.  This was actually the only stop we made that I didn’t feel like I was breaking a law.  We did make a few “adventure pee stops” on the way in addition to these listed, but I don't count those.  We attempted to find a fresh water swimming hole, but ended up hiking in wet muddy terrain once again,  only to find nothing.  We did see some awesome caves and stuck our feet in the black sand though.

Overall I would say that the trip was a success.  I guess you could say that we found a few new adventures that could be written in the next addition of Maui Revealed.  The day was coming to an end so we drove back down the mountain.  The rain diminished and the sun was shinning.  Score, a rainbow.   

Thanks for reading,

JenniferMarie